I have studied under Jack Canfield and simply adore him and all the work he and his staff do. He often asks, “What is the WHY behind everything you do?” And for a long time, I had trouble with this question. I didn’t get it. You do things because they need to be done. I never considered what my “why” was.

Hmmm…What is my “Why”?

As I dug into the question, I began to think that the “why” must have to be some deep philosophical or spiritual thing. Why do it if it wasn’t going to make a huge impact on the world, or touch the soul of another, or bring about phenomenal change to mankind? That must be it. It sounded good and it is something to be admired and respected. I saw this as an explanation for why I always “did the right thing” as a kid (and as an adult). I sacrificed fun and enjoyment, but I was making a difference and doing for the betterment of others. Yep. This must be it.

With this understanding, I soon noticed that, throughout my life, I often stopped myself from doing a lot of “fun” things, because I couldn’t find a deep reason for doing them. I often thought of others and worried about wasting time doing things that didn’t need to be done for a function. I found bits and pieces of satisfaction in doing the things I did do, but for the most part I simply wasn’t having fun or enjoying them.

I seemed to have forgotten how to have fun and how to do things for the enjoyment of them. To do things simply because I loved doing them. Even doing things for others began to have a bit of resentment to them, and since I was no longer doing them from love, they weren’t received that way, so they weren’t appreciated. What I got in return for doing for others was exactly why I did them, because they needed to be done. Could this be why everything always feels serious to me?

And then it hit me… I remembered what I had forgotten. My “why” is because I enjoy it. It makes me happy. It fills me with love to do things I enjoy doing, not because I think they need to be done or feel obligated to do them, but because I have the opportunity to do them. Yes, there are some things we do simply because they need doing (laundry, brushing your teeth, paying bills), but even those things can be done with love and gratitude. I am alive and I get to decide if I am joyful. I get to choose to do things that make me happy or things that make me sad. Neither being good or bad. Simply, I have a choice.

A dear friend introduced me to pickles in Bloody Mary’s and I chose to try it and I liked it. I enjoyed the flavor it gave the drink and I REALLY enjoyed the pickle at the end, as it was delicious with all the flavors of the drink absorbed into it. Every time I choose to have this drink and put a pickle in it, I get to enjoy something I like and I get to feel the love I have for my friend that introduced me to it. I find it amazing that if you take the time to really understand the question, you find the answer you had forgotten. Even in a pickle.

I choose to make my why, joy.