Where are you in your own understanding of yourself? Seeking to know by contrast (friends); questioning what you know or don’t know (un-friending); or do you think you have decided (blocking)? And if you think you have decided, how do you know you have made the right decision?

All of this from a basic function of the social media world…what?

Opportunities to create yourself are everywhere, even in social media. But are you aware of this? Do you have the courage to look at it from a reference point inside yourself?

I have enjoyed the opportunities that social media allows. I think it is a wonderful tool of our modern society. I have taken the time to observe others and myself and it is amazing to me how much wisdom I have gained from this simple process of choosing to participate, observing and experiencing. And like anything, it can be used at polar opposites or anywhere in between. If you declare you have a belief against it (often without even trying it), then you get to keep your belief and stay where you are, which is perfectly fine. You can go beyond that belief and test it (friend some people). Here you will either introvert (stay quiet, reserved and observe) or extrovert (post every detail of everything you do). You may begin to judge others for their beliefs, then you get to compete for who is “better,” and you get to remain in a belief of duality (us vs. them). If you are here, you have two ways of dealing with this duality, either by simply un-friending them, but keeping your ability to jump in and out of your belief, or blocking them, which simply makes them disappear. Fascinating.

Typically, we attract our opposite, because this is how we remember who we are (contrast). So if we take the time to evaluate who is on our friend list, we will usually find that we don’t really have a lot in common with most of them, but rather they are people that demonstrate that which we deny about ourselves, or that which we are unaware of in ourselves (and this can be what we like or what we don’t like). As we grow and change, we typically see those around us as being the ones who have changed, and it isn’t that they have changed, but in our change we are able to see these people differently. So now what we needed to grow (the contrast) is no longer needed, but we don’t know how to move on or let go in some cases.

The beauty is that social media has given us a few tools to help us here. You can remain friends with them, but the less you interact with them, the less social media will show you of them. You can un-friend them, which is similar to the first, except you take the initiative of not seeing them instead of waiting for social media to realize you have lost interest. Or you can block them. Scary. This could open up a whole can of worms. What if they find out you blocked them? What if they get mad at you? What if they tell others to block you? Oh no. Social media will even warn you before allowing you to block them. You are hitting that ultimate ctrl/alt/del (singing lions and tigers and bears, oh my!) combo in doing so.

So why is this so hard to do? You don’t need them anymore and you have obviously decided you don’t care to interact anymore (you moved beyond simply un-friending). Because we have never been taught that it is ok to be yourself, make decisions for yourself and trust yourself. Even if you do make the leap to block someone, often you will see people announcing the act of blocking someone as due to this or that. What? So you don’t want them on your list, but you have to justify and defend why you don’t? Why does it have to be duality? Why can’t it just be for yourself and not against someone else?

All of this from a “simple” thing called social media. Fascinating, simply fascinating…if you take the time and courage to look at it from inside yourself.

Photo: “Social Media” by Yoel Ben-Avraham is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.o