We all exude and absorb energy and we all are more naturally adept to one or the other. Whichever one isn’t natural for you, that is where your work is. Since I absorb, I am writing this from my point of view. I mean no disrespect to those that exude, rather the contrary. I know that all of my absorbing doesn’t do any good unless I exude as well. It is an “and” thing, not an “or” thing.

I absorb like a dried out sponge. I take anything that comes my way to bring me relief from being parched. Not good. There is a lot of shit out there that I just shouldn’t be absorbing. When I take on too much of that shit, and since I am not a natural at the exuding part, I either internalize it or it spills out of me in very unflattering ways. I don’t like that. I have learned, for my own health, that I can’t keep in what isn’t mine, but I am still playing with how to get it out.

I have tried simply doing what is such a popular cliché — “Let It Go!” Yeah, that doesn’t really work unless you are a famous ice princess or someone who naturally exudes. I just know that there is more to it than just letting it go. I have thrown out way too many precious things when I start just letting it all go.

Absorbing it all isn’t good. Exuding it all isn’t good. Hmmm…

You might think that getting those that absorb to let it go like those that exude or vice versa would be the answer — not. Know why it isn’t? Because both are doing the same thing, they are reacting and not thinking.

When I take on things that don’t belong to me, I need to stop and think for a moment, so I can feel what is right, instead of feeling and reacting by either making it mine or spewing it out. I need to ask myself what is mine and then deal with that which is mine in my healthy way; return what isn’t mine, but in a feeling way that is helpful. Or find a way to transform it into something useful (baser metal into gold). Spewing it directly back or keeping it as is just keeps the unhealthy cycle going.

My thought is that this works in reverse for the ones that exude. When they feel the need to let it go, they need to stop and think about what is really theirs to keep.

I know these are similar and that is just it, we all absorb and exude all the time. We simply need to do this in a healthy manner. When I absorb in a healthy way, I am one hell of a listener. I am able to use my empathy and sensitivity skills in a way to incorporate your uniqueness into the bigger picture. I like that. That feels good. I also know that when Dan exudes (his naturally tendency) in a healthy way, he is a great communicator. He is able to use his compassionate and loving skills in a way that reminds you that although you are part of the big picture, you need to take care of yourself first. I like that. That feels good.

He has learned a great deal from observing my healthy absorbing just as I have learned a great deal from observing his healthy exuding. For us, working together has always proven to be the best. It brings out the best in each of us and it makes us better together. Make it an “AND” instead of an “OR.”