No, this isn’t a question for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader,” but rather a question asked to my aunt by another adult (many other adults). My lovely aunt spent nearly 30 years as a bartender in Key West. I am grateful that I have had the privilege of spending long periods of time with her over the past 5 years. As we would play cards together, she would share some of the stupid things people would ask her while she was working. Such as…

Does the water go all the way around the island?

Can I swim under the island?

If I can’t make the first sunset cruise, when is the second sunset?

How far is it between mile markers?

If I squint, can I see Cuba from here?

Pretty funny when you think about them. I mean, doesn’t a mile marker mark each mile? Is Key West so special that it has two sunsets each night? So we laugh about these things and enjoy our time together.

After the card game is over, my mind still wonders why people even ask such questions. I know people are on vacation, but I would like to believe that they bring their minds with them. I also know that questions serve a purpose. So why ask such seemingly stupid questions?

I started thinking about how we think. We think by asking ourselves questions and the answer should generate further questions for thought to continue. Yet this is not how we are taught. We are taught to simply answer questions and not to generate further questions. Answers signal a full stop in thought. We are basically taught how not to think. We only know what we are taught, which is to ask questions and give answers. So think, stop.

Another component of why people ask these questions is that we long to commune with each other, yet we lack the basic skills of communicating. We don’t know how to share and understand each other’s thoughts and feelings, which would give us the community we long for. We rely on words to communicate, and although they are helpful, they are one of the poorest forms of communication that we have. Words are subjective, they don’t belong to the object of thought.

The entitled vacationer asks the servant bartender a think/stop question and then feels (the feeling is energy that is felt by both people) that no commune happens and therefore both remain separate. In order for this circle to stop, one end or the other has to acknowledge the other and then bridge the gap. Start a dialogue about the question that comes up, don’t just answer it or rephrase your question so as to start such a dialogue. Such as…

What is it like to live on such a small island surrounded by water?

No, you can’t swim under the island, but would you try it if you could?

I so want to go on the sunset cruise, but can’t make it today. Isn’t it wonderful that there is another sunset tomorrow and the next day…?

I wonder why the U.S. still uses the standard method instead of the metric system?

The curvature of the earth prevents us from seeing 90 miles away, but there are many ways to experience Cuba here. Would you like some ideas?

Now we can start communicating. As we communicate, we commune. We come together and understand each other. We learn from each other. We grow from each other.

So there really aren’t any stupid questions, just a lack of knowing how to think and communicate. Could we improve the world if we improved our skills in thinking and communicating? I think it is worth thinking about.