Yep, if you are the one begging. Know why? It is because you didn’t have the courage to start a conversation. You let the fear of thinking that the other person would never give you what you want, so you take it. Wrong, just wrong. You would probably be the first person going off if someone did this to you. Why do it to someone else?

For the most part, we do this innocently enough. We simply suck at communicating. The biggest culprit is that we learn very early on that no one is really listening to us. The next is that we are naturally always completing things (Law of Polarity). If someone isn’t truly listening (engaged in the conversation), but hears you asking for something, without thinking, they will most likely say the opposite…no. Pretty hard to ask someone for permission when you know that they probably won’t be listening to you and answer no in order to complete the transaction. Frustrating. Unfortunately, doing what you want and then asking for permission doesn’t work well either, since the other person is going to be pissed off that you didn’t ask them, even if they are ok with the outcome.

But how do we have a conversation that allows for a little less sweat?

Be detached from the outcome and engaged in the enthusiasm of the possibilities. If you find yourself looking for permission or forgiveness, you are attached to the outcome. You think you know exactly what it is you want or desire. Think of it like this…

You are hungry. You decide that a hamburger will satisfy your hunger (and it will). You start searching for a hamburger, but there are no restaurants around you serving hamburgers. You keep searching and searching. You are so fixated on getting a hamburger that you pass by all sorts of food that would satisfy your hunger. Now you aren’t so much engaged in solving your problem of hunger as you are attached to thinking that the only way to solve your hunger is with a hamburger. Do you see what happens when you become attached to the outcome?

Same thing when it comes to communicating with someone. You become so attached to the outcome, getting them to agree with what you want (hamburger), that you forget what the real issue is (hunger). If you took the time to have a conscious conversation, you just might get the hamburger, but you also might find a way to have a full on grass fed, organic, freshly prepared filet mignon with a delicious demi-glace.

Of course, the other person has to be willing to have the conversation as well, but your chances are much greater of accomplishing this if you approach them with enthusiasm and genuine interest in having that person help you find the best solution to your problem.

We limit our outcomes when we only go with what is in our own mind. Communicating and communing with others opens up so many possibilities. Throw out asking for permission or begging for forgiveness and have those sweaty conversations. It is a win-win all around.