Usually the first thing someone asks me when I say that my parents live with us is, “Was that the only option?” My answer is both yes and no. No, there are many other options available, including them living on their own, as they have no medical or physical reasons for living with us. Yes, because it was a choice we all made together.

My grandmother lived with us when I was very young and although she died when I was 4, I remember that time she lived with us as being very special. A couple of years ago, Dan and I were considering moving out of state. The thought of leaving my parents just didn’t sit well with us. My mom has been a very integral part of my life and my children’s lives, and we did not want to give that up. Since we had already spent extended time living together while in Key West (escaping for the winter months), we knew we could work out living as one big family. We talked to my parents about selling their home and moving in with us, while we prepared our home and business for us to move. Everyone jumped at the idea.

Since then, our plans to move have been pushed back indefinitely, but we have discussed this and even offered to help my parents find their own place. Fortunately, everyone is ok with how things are going and they want to stay here. Dan, I and the kids are so grateful that they are. There are so many benefits to this arrangement that no one ever notices any losses.

We also have our adult son living with us and, just like with my parents, we love this. It just works. Since so many people question why our son lives with us and not on his own, and the same with my parents, I started thinking: why is there so much doubt about something that is working?

I started thinking about how we used to live and there are countless times that we did live together, either in homes or on homesteads. It worked. There were elders to watch children so the parents could do the manual labor. There was less stress, less bills, more people to help with chores, more wisdom shared at the dinner table…why did we stop this?

I believe that a sense of adventure caused some members to leave and head out on their own, but not all. There had to be shifts happening as marriages occurred, but they were most likely pretty balanced. I searched and the only thing I kept finding were statements about independence and freedom. I can tell you that there has been no loss of independence or freedom in our home. If anything, there is more.

Our expenses for one household of seven are far less than that of three households (one for us and our minor children, one for my parents and one for our adult son). We spend less at the grocery store because we have so much less waste. Dan and I enjoy more freedom, because we know if we go out, the kids are safely in the hands of their older brother or grandparents.

My kids are amazed by the knowledge their grandparents have to share. We don’t need as many cars, as there is always one available. We use less gas, since a lot of times we go out together. Plus, we aren’t driving to and from each other’s places. Not to mention the peace of mind. I sleep much better knowing we are only a flight or two of stairs away instead of miles. And our stress levels are way down. There are many hands to help with chores. There is always someone around to sit with and chat or play cards. Since our expenses are lowered, no one is worrying about money. There is always someone home to let the dogs out or feed the cat. I could go on and on about the benefits.

It isn’t hard to do, you just have to be willing to give up those crazy beliefs of what we are supposed to do. This works. The biggest requirement is mutual respect. Well, I kind of want that in my life anyway. Respect is good thing. If you want something, don’t be misled by your own limiting thoughts or the opinions of others. Go for it. If it doesn’t work, change it. Don’t sit and wish or condemn another because you can’t find the courage to do what you want to do. Just do it!

We made a choice and we are so glad that we did. I know that these years of living under one roof will be memories of love and I wouldn’t want it any other way.