There is absolutely no way to sugar coat this. Whether it be with a parent, a child, a spouse, a boss, a friend, a doctor, a sales person, the mail man…
Relationships ARE HARD! Really hard.
“Working on myself, by myself, for myself.” ~Unknown
This would be a piece of cake if it wasn’t for the fact that we are social beings and unless you want to be a recluse, you will be dealing with others in some way or another every day of your life. I would add “In an environment filled with others” to this quote, but then we would be reminded of how hard that is.
And, this is a good thing.
Without Relationships
Without relationships with others we would have a tough time seeing ourselves, our behaviors and most importantly, the forgotten side of ourselves.
Other people act as our mirror. If we like what we see reflected back at us or we aren’t negatively impacted by it, great! We don’t usually pay much attention and move on. If we don’t like what is reflected back at us or we feel negatively about what we see, we do everything in our power to avoid it and we immediately set up all the reasons it is the other person.
Sometimes it is the other person but if it is truly only them, you wouldn’t feel negativity within yourself.
The negativity indicates something unresolved in yourself and the only way you can see this is by interacting with other people. Having relationships. By yourself, you will most likely never see these things.
But this isn’t meant to be doom and gloom. Like I said, it is hard, but it is a good thing. You can’t resolve, deal with, change or grow from that which you cannot see. We need the reflections provided by others in order to discover the things we need to work on within ourselves.
What to do in the future when interacting & building relationships
Next time you are hit with that negativity when interacting with someone, stop. Breathe. Ask yourself why you feel the way you feel. Find out what was activated in you and do what is necessary to resolve that discomfort in yourself. It can be a profound experience so remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.
We can do hard things, but we have to take care of ourselves along the way. My Cyndi has no problem taking care of herself after a hard day of taking care of her humans.
Oh, how much easier her day would be without relationships to deal with. But, you rarely, find as much peace and joy in the easy things as you do in the hard things.
