I get really tired of the number of articles written on these two personality traits and the implications that the only thing that exists between these two is toxicity. Not true. It can be toxic but only if you follow the normal or conditioned ideology of the relationship between these two. The truth is that they need each other.
Let’s get on the same page about Narcissist and Empaths. For purposes of this post…
If you have dominant empathic personality traits, you feel the emotions and energy of those around you (especially those you are in a close relationship with) and therefore you attempt to care for others so that there are no negative emotions or energy for you to absorb. When you absorb those emotions and feelings, they weigh you down and even paralyze you from moving forward.
If you have dominant narcissistic personality traits, you may or may not feel the emotions and energy of others but you have suffered the consequences of the actions of other reacting to negative emotions and energy and therefore you protect yourself before others can harm you. You have carried that abuse with you and operate from a point of thinking everyone will treat you the same way.
The commonality is that each is operating from self preservation. The empath thinks of others (offensive moves) so that what they feel from them is positive and not detrimental to themselves and the narcissist thinks of himself (defensive moves) to protect himself from the actions of others. Both are looking out for themselves, period. Both have been hurt and both are attempting to stop it from ever happening again.
The tendency is to think that the empath is selfless and the narcissist is selfish but that is not the case. One goes outward to protect themselves and one goes inward. Taking both the commonality and the difference allows us the opportunity to understand each other.
If the empath stops judging the narcissist for being self centered and uncaring and begins to understand that he is only displaying these traits in order to basically stay alive, then that frustration and anger can transform into love and compassion. And that is ultimately all the narcissist is looking for, love and compassion that was withheld at some point due to a fear in another.
If the narcissist stops judging the empath as thinking they are better than everyone else because they always look out for others and begins to understand the she is only displaying these traits in order to basically stay alive, then the frustration and anger can transform into love and compassion. And that is ultimately all the empath is looking for, love and compassion that was denied at some point due to a fear in another.
The toxicity comes in only when we aren’t willing to stop the pattern and understand one another. When we judge instead of communicate. When we label and compartmentalize instead of remembering that we are all one. Allow yourself to think differently and you will be amazed at what you will see and experience. Narrow mindedness is insane when you remember that we are limitless and abundance. Step into that expansiveness. Stop believing the lies and limitations you are being handed.
If you believe toxicity exists and there appears to be no way out, then get out. Some people are so hurt that the thought of letting go of that persona feels like death. Don’t push them. Don’t join them either. Trust the self preservation instincts and leave. But don’t judge and label everyone the same. Know that for the most part, most people welcome the love and compassion. They just might need to a little time and so might you. Kindness and patience are gateways to love and compassion. Start where you are and work towards shedding those limiting belief systems.
