Why are you so angry? There is no reason to be angry. We are so ignorant and immature in the way we perceive and deal with anger.
I bet that made you feel a little angry. That is a good thing! I am glad to see your anger is working and sensing a potential boundary breech. I made a general assumption (we are ignorant and immature) and now you have the awareness to dive in or run. I hope you will dive in:-)
We not only suppress our own anger, we attempt to repress anger in others. We simply want nothing to do with this emotion. In ourselves or in others. In my opinion, it is by far the most feared and most avoided emotion we have available to us.
Sometimes it can be very hard for us to become aware of our own anger and therefore we don’t really pay attention when we read about it. We are so busy denying we have anger, that we miss the insights. Instead of talking about our own anger here, I want to discuss how we can honor it in others. Hopefully this will allow your mind to pay attention to the information being offered.
One thing: an angry person doesn’t need is someone telling them to calm down. Doing so will only isolate the person more. They are angry because anger has presented itself for healing. A better thing to do would be to set your boundary and match the intensity of the anger being presented.
WHAT?
I hear you. I am not asking you to be angry right along with them. Instead, call on your anger. Set your boundaries by matching the energy they are offering (if they are red hot mad, create a boundary of fire). Then create a safe space for the person to release.
Anger is available to you to protect you and help you, your relationships and to rebuild your self esteem when it has been compromised. The angry person in front of you is not aware of this. They have suppressed so much anger that they are boiling over. They need a safe place to release it. If you don’t call on your anger to create that safe place, they will violate your boundaries because you have no way to set them without anger. Then you will both be unaware and simply be angry at each other.
Can you see where we kind of mess things up when we try to meet anger with the wrong emotions? The protection and energy of anger is what is needed when dealing with anger. The secret is, you have to be aware of it. You have to consciously call on it. Bring it forth as the protector and you can deal with anything. Even an angry person. Go in without it and you will be lucky to make it out without becoming angry yourself.
If you can do this, the other person can release the overwhelm. Once they do they will then have an opportunity to find their own solutions. You can then thank your anger and pull your boundaries back in.
