Yep, I put relaxing and sadness together. Most likely you have never really thought of the two being together. When you truly let go, relaxation is sure to follow. That is the gift sadness brings to us. Hence the title – Relaxing into Sadness!

Sadness due to Loss

I have had a lot of practice with this the past month. First I lost my dog and then I lost my aunt. I also let go of a lot of self imposed and society imposed pressure to do the “right” thing.

The sadness brought on by the loss of my dog and aunt were what I think of as normal. Death is inevitable and there truly is nothing you can do about it. For me, this type of sadness is easier to deal with in some ways. Yes, I cried and I have grieved but I also have closure.

Sadness from Decision Making

The sadness I experienced over doing the right thing, that is nothing short of HARD!

What if the decision I make is wrong? What if I screw this up? What if…???

There is a good chance that we will be without health insurance for the first time in our lives. The cost is just too high and the benefits are just too low to make paying the exorbitant premiums worthwhile. A lot of people are angry about this and I don’t discredit that feeling. I was angry at first too. But when I took the time to go deeper, I realized I was more sad than angry.

I was sad because it is hard to let go of the concept of having something I have always had, health insurance. Although it appears there are no alternatives (such as in death), there actually are alternatives, but I couldn’t see them with anger. I had to become aware of the sadness I felt in order to see what I was missing. Sadness showed me that my hesitation and inability to move forward was that the alternatives aren’t what I am used to. They involve going against the norm and that always brings up doubt and worry that my choice will not be a good one or the right one.

Letting Go

I had to let go of something that I have always had (conceptual and real) in order to make room for and find something that will work better for us.

Once I released the idea that I had to have the same insurance as everyone else (no matter the cost), alternatives showed up for me. They are different and creative but they will work for us and we won’t be completely without insurance. Of course I still have the doubt, but in a different way. I know that I made an informed decision once I released the pressure of feeling like I had no choice.

I realize that writing about death and losing health insurance together are about as foreign as putting relaxation and sadness together, but it works.

Sadness – a Gift

Emotions are fluid and always moving. The word itself is based in the Latin emovere, meaning to move through or out. We have to move through death. We move things out that aren’t working for us. Sadness helps us do that.

Since I began digging deep into the emotions about 5 years ago, sadness has always intrigued me. After this past month, I have a new and deep love for the gifts it brings.