“Like drawing a rainbow with one crayon.” ~ Deb L.
We all feel inadequate at some point in time. We think we are not smart enough. Not tall enough. Not strong enough. Too fat. Over sensitive. Too loud. On and on and on. We cope. We deal with these perceived inadequacies in one way or another. Healthy and not so healthy ways.
One area I find particularly difficult is when we think our experiences are somehow inadequate when compared to another persons. When you tell a friend about how sick you feel and they tell you how much sicker they were so you should feel lucky you aren’t as sick as that. Twisted but an attempt at connection.
The thing is our experiences are unique to us.
We may see similarities with another’s but ultimately they are unique to us and only us. Much like we can describe what we see but how can we ever know if someone sees the same thing in the exact same way that we do?
In the healing world, I have witnessed time and time again, people trying to compare their journey with another person’s experience. It is as if the same program should produce the same results for everyone. I was part of a guided meditation and at the end of the meditation we were to write down our experience. We were then invited to share what we experienced.
Several people described, in great detail, vibrant and larger than life experiences with abundance from every angle. The picture you drew in your mind from listening to them made you want to go to these places on your next vacation! I noticed one woman push back further and further in her chair to the point that her chair was actually moving out of the circle. I went and put my hand on hers and attempted to anchor her back into the group. After a little bit she shared that she felt like she must have gone to the wrong place because her experience was nothing like what other people were describing. She said that it felt her experience was more like drawing a rainbow with one crayon.
The image alone intrigued me but hearing that she thought her experience was somehow less than because it wasn’t as bright and vivid as the others, brought forth sadness in me.
We are all unique, valid and full of abundance.
There are so many images in the news, on social media and print advertising that constantly bombards us with feelings of inadequacy. I am not saying that anyone in this group caused her to feel this way but isn’t it sad that it is a “normal” feeling for us, inadequacy, even in a loving, healing space? Shouldn’t we be able to drop that and be ok with ourselves, just the way we are?
I think we should but I think it takes effort on our part to not fall victim to the programming. To remember how wonderful and powerful we are. Being able to learn to stop those thoughts from controlling us and to give grace to our own selves. To love ourselves enough to honor and cherish our experiences as unique and special. True healing always starts from within. Be kind to yourself.
A few days after this incident, I was writing and hit a little block. I often stop and do something else for a few moments, usually something creative in another medium, and the block clears. On this day I decided to see if I could draw a rainbow with one crayon. I do NOT claim to be an artist but I think I was successful at doing what I set out to do. It cleared my block and made me smile. Isn’t that what life is all about?
